Gray really suits you
2/9/2024
Dear Alice! Turns out, Paul's sculptures were a total flop, and
suspicious, I rushed straight to your hotel. I must have just missed you
by a hair because your perfume lingered in the elevator. But, get this,
only a moment separated us across hemispheres. Outside your room,
camomiles wilted on the maid's cart. You tossed them, just like you did
me. They withered, losing your warmth. I could've hated you, calling it
betrayal. But all I felt was heartache and emptiness. I can't ever bring
myself to hate you. I bolted onto the street, right into traffic,
trying to hail a cab. When I slammed into the yellow bumper with clammy
hands, realizing I couldn't hold you back because you had made up your
mind. I didn't have the guts to watch you walk away amidst the crowd at
the airport. You knew that, asking Paul for help. I could've been
pitiful, begging you to stay, crying and pleading, and you probably
would've caved. But I didn't want to sway your decision. Not because I
feared the responsibility. I just wanted you to choose to stay with me.
But you left. Yet, your decision to leave doesn't mean you won't come
back to me. I'll wait for you, safeguarding all our memories. I'll wait
even as time ruthlessly erases your features from my mind, making me
doubt your flawlessness. I'll be with you till the end. Run my fingers
through your hair with the first rays of dawn and feel the sudden gusts
of wind on your face. I'll watch you with the eyes of a loyal dog,
wagging my tail as you pass by. Just know, that my doors are forever
open. In the heart of this bustling metropolis, I suddenly realized,
that the city teeming with people, feels empty without you. Like a lost
wanderer, I didn't know where to go next. I never felt so lost and
downcast before. I still hoped you'd call or wait for me at the school
gate. Deep down, believed you couldn't leave. Turned out, I was wrong.
Dialed your number countless times, but the operator said the network
was overloaded. Then I heard, "The subscriber does not exist." I
couldn't believe it because you still exist inside me. Sweet Kate...
What a surprise she had for me. On the windowsill in my room, in a frame
of dark lacquered wood, stood our photo. We're on the terrace of the
restaurant, so close to each other, yet anticipating even more
closeness. You're in gray. When did she manage to take this photo?
You'll always be with me. Even if it's just a piece of paper for now.
But everything will change. I know it. I love you, Alice! P. S. Gray
really suits you!
